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Boneheads Musicians Recording

Don’t keep your studio masters with your dope

Recording rappers is always an entertaining experience. Rappers all love to brag about how badass they are. They love to tell you about how much bank they’re stackin’, how many ho’s they’re bustin’ nuts in, and how many coppas asses they busted caps in. (Soon my white man’s rap dictionary will be out so you can understand what I just wrote).

It’s funny when two different rappers show up at the studio at the same time too because they’re very competitive. One will say “where you from man” and the other will say “Compton.” The first one will say “Word mofo, I be from Compton too.” (I know damn well the one dude is from Midvale and the other one from Salt Lake…pretty damn far from Compton).

This one rapper (whose name was a derivative of the chemicals found in pot) was quite entertaining. He would always bring in his “posse” and they were all funny. It is a little scary though because you have to keep your eye on all of them. All small expensive pieces of gear must be locked up before the session. I don’t know why but all the rappers really seemed to like me. I’m pretty damn white so I don’t know what the see in me.

When you work with rappers in the studio you have to allow a bunch of breaks for them to go out and get some “inspiration.” I just tell them to keep it outside. Hell, if someone wants to pay me $60/hour to smoke dope outside what do I care?

So I finish the pot chemical rapper’s album and give him his bill. It isn’t cheap. He makes a call or two and jumps in his ride. 15 minutes later he comes back with cash. That is one great thing about working with rappers: they always pay in cash.

So I gave him his masters and he was on his way happily listening to his new album in his “boom boom car.” (I call those rap cars boom boom cars).

A couple of weeks later I called him up to see when the album was going to be released. As it turns out he and his posse got pulled over by the coppas. The coppas smelled something funny and had to search the boom boom car. Unfortunately they had to impound the vehicle and it’s contents which included the dope and the masters for the new album. Fortunately they paid me already or I wouldn’t have gotten my dough!

So the moral to the story is: “Don’t keep your studio masters with your dope.”

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Boneheads Musicians Rants

Orange Bowl Halftime Farce: Ashlee Simpson is TERRIBLE!

What a joke the Orange Bowl halftime show is. I’m so sick of musicians faking their parts. The Kelly Clarkson (or however you spell it) band was a joke. I just saw the drummer do a big drum fill and the music track was playing the HH. The drums on the recording were an obvious drum machine but they were an acoustic kit live. Trace Atkins’ drummer was playing behind the track missing fills all over.

Oh man, Ashlee Simpson is TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE! She’s out of tune! She can’t even sing in time with her original recorded karaoke guide vocal! Forget the fact that she’s about 10% as attractive as her sister.

WAIT WAIT…HOLY COW, WHEN ASHLEE FINISHED THE AUDIENCE BOO’D HER!!! WHAT A SMART AUDIENCE! YEAH!!!

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Boneheads Gigs Musicians Recording

Board mix breaks up band

I do live sound gigs sometimes when someone wants to pony up a few bucks to pay me. When I do run sound it usually kicks ass.

There’s a heavy metal band I did some albums for and they hire me to do many live sound gigs as well. They have a big PA and it sounds killer.

The last gig I did for them was at a scary biker bar. The day after I did this gig a guy staggered into the bar with more than a dozen knife wounds…

This is a pretty easy gig. They set up the PA and I show up and twiddle some knobs. So for the hell of it I decided to bring my laptop, and an I/O (that’s soundman geek talk for input/output device) to capture some audio. I just ran a “board mix” straight into my laptop. If you know what a board mix is then you know they don’t necessarily sound very good. The issue is that POST mixer a ton of processing can take place in the PA. For these guys it’s namely thousands of watts of power with some EQ’s and compression blasting out of dozens of big speakers. So the sound coming out of the console may sound quite weak and out of balance if you don’t listen to it out of the PA.

Board mixes are almost always out of balance due to the stage volume of the players. The guitar player in this band for instance has quite a few Marshall amps which are loud as hell. So since his stage volume is very loud it’s not necessary to pump him out of the PA very much. The resulting recording of would then be lacking guitar because of this.

So what we ended up with was a mix that you would simply critique the band’s playing and tightness. I burned the band a CD of the gig (not from awedeals.com).

A couple of weeks later I get this crazy email from the drummer listing his $30,000 (supposedly) drum kit for sale. I later find out that after the drummer heard the board mix he got into a big fight with his bandmates. He thought the sound sucked and said that the singer sounded stupid when he talked to the audience inbetween songs. This singer has talked like this from day one. The only thing I can figure is that the drummer didn’t have as good of time since he was SOBER for the first time at a gig! Whatever the real reason is the band broke up. I felt a little guilty even though I clearly explained that the board mix wouldn’t sound all that great.

So in trying to do a favor for some guys, I produced the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ll think again before I do any more clients any “favors.”

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Boneheads Gigs Musicians

The gig: Buddy from Fender, drunk chick

Tonights gig was at a new club for me. The other two guys in the band had played there before when I had a sub though.

The club was a pretty cool place and it was packed. I was happy to see an awesome crowd. One of the worst things to have to do as a musician is play in front of no crowd. Our poor bass player has been suffering from pneumonia and he did a great job.

An old pal of mine Jason dropped in to the show tonight from Scottsdale, AZ. Jason is the marketing manager for Fender Audio. Jason is also a crazy guy who had a really cool punk surf band a while back. I let him know about the happenings with this blog and the forum section and he said he would try to link from Fender’s site and he’d post some news in the forums! He also jumped up on stage and sang a song with us tonight (see pic).

There is a stereotype of rock & roll musicians that we always get hot chicks. That’s nice but sometimes there are some “other” types of chicks that are into the band as well. Tonight was a prime example.

There was this obnoxious chick who was drunk as hell. She had the hots for our bass player and stood in front of him almost all night. Finally her mullet ridden boyfriend came up and grabbed her and dragged her away from the stage. I managed (while still playing the drums) to snap this pic (below) right when he grabbed her around her head. They both bit the dust by the side of the stage and couldn’t get up for quite some time…

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Musicians

The Bad Plus

Every so often a band or album comes out that is simply beyond anything else out there. On the jazz end of things THE BAD PLUS is that band.

THE BAD PLUS is a 3 piece (piano, acoustic bass & drums). They play a combination of jazz/latin/x. “X” is a measurement of an unknown factor. Really, I am at a loss of words to describe what these guys are like and how they play but if you are a musician, these guys will blow you away.

I saw THE BAD PLUS live this summer from the FRONT row. Let me tell you the drummer is INSANE and insanely good. The piano player must have two brains because his right hand can be playing one tune/tempo/key, while his left plays another. The bass player is solid, dynamic and strangely looks just like the bass player in my band. And dynamics? No band has more.

Their second album “Give” was recorded in October of 2003 at Real World Studios in Wiltshire, England. Does that studio sound familiar? It should. It is the studio owned by Peter Gabriel.

“Give” is The Bad Plus’ second collaboration with Tchad Blake, maestro of binaural recording. Binaural recording is interesting and a whole other subject matter for another day. In short they record with a “head” that has microphones in the ears. This captures a 3D aural image just like the human ears do.

You can download The Bad Plus’ music on iTunes if you want to get it quick after reading this article. Do it, it will change your musical life.