Category: Musicians

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Gigs Musicians

Everyone thinks they’re musicians…

At the gig last night this guy comes up on the first break and tells me “man you’re off the chain.” I didn’t quite understand that. I guess this means he liked my drumming. I think he mean to say “you’re off the hook.”

He then tells me and my singer that he plays drums and bass. So my singer says “come up and play a tune with us.”

Guy jumps up on the next set and we play a 1-4-5 slow blues song. This is cake. Well he starts “soloing” (badly) over everything and can’t even follow the damn progression. Our singer is yelling across the stage “C man, C!!!” and he’s looking at the bass like the C note left the building.

What an ass.

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Musicians Rants Recording

Learn how to play the friggin’ guitar

So I’m working into the rotation at the big studio. Right now I’m not getting the most “prestigious” gigs.

I’m working with a hack acoustic guitar player and I just can’t get his guitar to sound very crisp. I’ve got a friggin’ $8000 Neumann microphone on this guy’s guitar and it sounds terrible. No crispness at all. It sounds like the mic is across the room pointing the other direction.

I go in the sound booth to see what is up. Maybe the guy took his shoes off and hung his shoe on the mic?

All thumbs

As it turns out, this guy is paying $100/hour to record his acoustic tracks and he’s playing the guitar with the meat of his thumb. DOH! I asked “where’s your guitar pick?” and he says “I don’ t use one.” Hmm… I say “that’s probably why it doesn’t sound very crisp.”

Later in the session when I go to set up an auto-tuner on his vocals I ask the same guy what key the song is in. “I don’t know” is his answer. So I ask “what chord are you playing on the last note of the song?” “I don’t know” again. The guy is self taught, doesn’t use a guitar pick, and doesn’t know what a chord is. He was playing a bastardized G chord…

Normally I’d say “kill me” in this situation, but I’m glad to have a gig at this point so no worries. Just get a friggin’ guitar lesson before the next session please…

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Musicians

Max Roach dies at 83

https://apnews1.iwon.com//article/20070816/D8R291F80.html

Max Roach, what a great drummer in his day. He gave Buddy Rich a run for his money on many occasions. Buddy won most of those battles though…

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Musicians Random

Gene the old drunk sax player checks in

Phone rings

Me: Hello?

Gene (speech slurred from being about 90 years old and drunk): Ever heard of demencia?

Me: I don’t remember.

Categories
Musicians Random

U2’s Bono killing starving children?

Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous, but a kind and caring person.

He is playing a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland when he asks the audience for total quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone, ‘Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.’

A voice with a broad Scottish accent, from near the front of the crowd, pierces the silence………….

‘Well, f’n stop doin’ it then.’