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Boneheads Gear Gigs

Solving the loose tubes problem

On my last post I talked about my guitar player’s problem with his tubes falling out of his amp at the gig two nights ago.

At last night’s gig he solved the problem by setting his amp up on stage upside down…

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Gigs

Racks at unexpected gig

Strange day. I get a phone call at about 4pm to inform me I HAVE A GIG TONIGHT. Great, thanks for the notice. At about 9pm I’m lounging around my living room in my flanel PJ’s and I almost completely forgot the gig. I got dressed, threw my kit in the car and headed to the show.

Upon arrival I grabbed some of my kit and hauled it in. I ran into a (very beautiful) old female acquaintance who was looking stunning. We chatted for a while and it was very difficult to not notice her……..ok ok….her huge rack. I’m sorry.

I head out the front door to get the rest of my gear and the door guy comments that it took me a while to come back for my 2nd load. I informed him that I was “distracted” by this beautiful woman and her……rack. I load the rest of my kit in and the door guy comes up to me and looks around to make sure no one is listening. He motions for me to follow him. He leads me to his computer where he is surfing to some web site. When he gets to the right page, there she is! The beautiful woman I was talking to. Not only that, she’s topless! The rest of the evening I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face when I looked at her.

That wasn’t the only rack. There were very many oversized racks tonight. I don’t know if there is a boob-job convention in town or what. Even on the 1st break the guitar player mentioned it so I know it wasn’t just me.

Apparently I was so distracted by the many rack displays that I didn’t even see the big bar fight. This bar fight was started by an obviously horny blonde chick who was making out with several differnt guys in the club. Apparently two of them decided to show their manhood and beat each other up to impress her. That got ’em all kicked out.

Tonight’s performance was ok, but the guitar player’s amp was blinking out. (what else is new?). Turns out his tubes were loose and falling out. When one would fall out his sound would cut in half. I kept reaching over and pushing his tubes back in with one hand while playing drums with the other.

The only other strange thing was that some morons were trying to climb a steel light pole outside the bar. I had my camera ready for when one of them cracked his head open and spilled his brains on State Street but the morons never fell.. Nighty night.

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Boneheads Gear Gigs Musicians Random Rants Recording

Pro Sound Blog Forums

Just an FYI for those of you who are new here. PSB has an entire FORUM section for you to use and enjoy! Please join up and join in!

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Boneheads Gigs

The Club Owner Who Thought He Could Fly

Club owner does many drugs. Club owner thinks he can fly. Club owner jumps off 5 story building. Club owner is dead.

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Gigs Musicians

Field Sobriety Test

Many years ago my band played for an insane frat party. This was one of those all timers where everyone was absolutely plastered. There was a 1/4″ of beer on the floor as a result of their having “beer showers.” They would just dump a whole beer on peoples heads.

I was not immune to the beer showers as I played the drums. People would come up and just dump whole beers on my head and my drum kit. It was cool. I didn’t mind at all. I didn’t drink at the time so I had no beers or booze.

After this crazy gig I packed up my stuff and headed for home. About 200 yards away from the frat house I got pulled over by the cops. Apparently the cops were hiding and pulling over drunk drivers as they left the party.

The cop comes up to my window and asks “how many beers have you had tonight?” I naturally say “none.” At this point he thinks I’m full of shit because I just left an insane frat party and I smell like I’ve bathed in beer.

He asks me to get out of the vehicle and informs me that he is going to give me a field sobriety test. The first test is one where you clap your hands, then flip one hand over and clap with the top of your one hand. He shows me and explains very clearly what to do. He says “clap like this, and you don’t have to clap as fast as I do.” I clarify “I don’t have to clap as fast as you?” He confirms yes. He doesn’t know he has just pulled over a sober DRUMMER. I proceed to do his stupid little clap about 1000x as fast as he did, and more accurately I might add.

After watching me do his clap faster than a machine gun he says “have a nice night.”