Author: admin

Categories
Rants

Hey man, watch your friggin’ kid

So yesterday I bought a new Apple Powerbook G4 17″ laptop. I’ve been so damn busy this week I haven’t even had time to play with it. All I’ve had time to do is upgrade to the operating system I wanted in there.

So this client comes in and we’re discussing his project. Meanwhile he is letting his “curious” 2 year old son wander around my studio. I thought I’d give the kid something to keep him from getting bored so I gave him a golf ball to play with. He just started throwing it at my gear so that didn’t do the trick.

Suddenly I hear this big thud. I turn around to find this little unattended tyrant has dropped my f’ing laptop on the ground. Call me crazy, but I like to own my laptops at least 22 hours before they’re dropped on the ground.

Memo to clients: I don’t think you could afford to buy me a new $2,700 laptop. So watch your friggin’ kids and keep their grubby hands off my gear.

Categories
Musicians

Movin’ to LA

I have a client that comes to me exactly two times per year with some duplication work. He’s like clockwork and always prepays in cash. Just the kind of client I need.

He came in last week and I got him taken care of. But when he came in to pick his stuff up he informed me that he was moving to LA in 3 days. The short story is that he broke up with his girlfriend of several years earlier that morning, and therefore was moving to LA. Seems strange. This poor guy has wanted to move there forever but his girlfriend had other plans I guess.

The more I learn about musicians, the less I understand about the human race.

Categories
Random

Be Patient

I was talking to a vendor of mine today and he said the funniest thing. He’d just had some kind of surgery and was frustrated because he wasn’t healing as fast as he wanted.

His doctor told him: “Be patient.”

Categories
Gigs

Shocking Bathroom Incident

Our singer/guitar player is quite entertaining. From his brash comments to boneheads in the crowd that almost get him beat up, to cracking Yoko Ono jokes, you never know what to expect. That’s why I like playing gigs with this band.

One night we’re in a very crowded club. The guitar player has his new wireless transmitter so he doesn’t get tangled up in his cables on stage. We’re in the middle of some song when he announces that he’s going to go to the bathroom while playing his guitar solo.

So he jumps off the stage and walks right out of the room while soloing. You can still hear him but now you can’t see him as he’s presumably at the urinal. Then there’s a terrible static electricity noise and his guitar stops playing. Seconds later he comes back in the room with his hair sticking straight up (what’s left of it).

Turns out that his guitar strings were not clipped off and he accidentally somehow stuck his strings in the wall socket in the bathroom. The end of his guitar was all blackened and the dude nearly electrocuted himself and his peepee.

Categories
Random

Liquid Ass


Liquid Ass is a stink spray in which the maker says has an authentic “butt crack smell.” My first thought is “damn I’m glad it’s authentic. I’d hate to have an inauthentic butt crack smell.” Then I thought “how would one know it is authentic, unless one knows first hand what an authentic butt crack smells like?” I digress…

This would be a useful spray for the studio after one of those all night sessions when we need to “freshen” up things a little.

Liquid Ass would also be perfect for covering up the odors in the “band van.”

Perhaps the best use might be for masking some of the odors coming from the band’s groupies….