Coming Soon… Version 2.5.2.1.7

Version 2.5 of my to-do blog list:

*Becoming a Rock Star for Dummies – DONE
*Golf equipment in lieu of payment
*How to get a record deal
*My buddy’s Stolen Keyboard
*The club onwner who thought he could fly – DONE
*Graphic EQ Catalog Setting
*Total Bitch Who Turns Out To Be An Inlaw
*WTF Is A Boing Box?
*Locking Bridge
*Broken Steve Vai Guitar
*Christmas Party Gig
*Shaman Princess
*Guitar Case Sale
*Mouthing off to the club owner
*1 Song & Done
*Chick’s Visa Card
*Phony tubes? – DONE
*Uhh, where did the bass player go?
*Rickenbacker 12 string issue
*The Turf Club is the coolest place
*White to rap conversion
*Are you telling me I torched a $15,000 kit?
*Bag the female singer
*Shocking gig in Sun Valley
*Shocking bathroom incident
*There goes the moose head!
*Speaking of moose: Singer hits moose
*Hole in the stage
*Dumbass Metal Guitar Player
*Opening for The Romantics (power problems)
*Someone had sex on our stage and we didn’t know it?
*Here’s a drum stick in your eye
*Fell off the drum riser
*Surprise beer glass modification
*Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
*Opening for The Fixx
*Opening for Flock Of Seaguls
*Opening for Jerry Lee Lewis
*The freak duplicator?
*The best female singer I recorded is a….zone girl?
*The 2nd best female singer I recorded is a…..stripper?
*The band that wouldn’t get off the stage…voluntarily. (Don’t mess with the golden glove boxer part 2)
*The tour (the radio show with 3 video cameras which don’t broadcast anything?)
*Point that video camera straigt into a spotlight, great dumbass
*Band accomodations & crack house all in one
*Dude steals chair and nearly causes a natural gas explosion
*Wedding gigs: Is anyone really paying attention?
*Late for a crappy gig
*Don’t piss off the golden glove boxer
*To the asshole who stole my hardware case
*X
*When naked ladies are running around, why do they blame me?
*Studio poltergiest that scares the hell out of me…really. The scariest, creepiest studio story ever.
*Two gigs in three hours, 350 miles apart?
*Bam bam
*$5 bounced check (from a client)
*I swear I didn’t know it was a gay bar. – DONE
*”Tonto” The drunk indian – DONE
*Your bass player is too hard to watch – DONE
*High heels, used as a weapon – DONE
*Best sub gig ever (strippers!) – DONE
*Don’t keep your studio masters with your dope – DONE
*A pathetic coke whore – DONE
*Stolen sub – DONE
*Stolen PA – DONE
*Falling asleep in the mix – DONE
*Board mix breaks up band – DONE