I’m on vacation for a few days. Posts should start back up around Feb 7.
Adios.
Category: Random
I stopped by this old club I used to play at all the time. It has changed owners a few times but my buddy the bartender was still there. I stop there sometimes to pick up a cigar when I’m on the way to a gig.
So I walk in there the other night before a gig and I’m greeted by a gentleman at the door wearing a black bow tie…….wearing ONLY a black bow tie. Slackjawed I looked into the club there were dozens of “men” wearing leather, spikes, and sometimes nothing dancing on the dance floor.
Apparently the club changed formats one more time than I was aware of.
Categories
Coming Soon… Version 2.5.2.1.7
Version 2.5 of my to-do blog list:
*Becoming a Rock Star for Dummies – DONE
*Golf equipment in lieu of payment
*How to get a record deal
*My buddy’s Stolen Keyboard
*The club onwner who thought he could fly – DONE
*Graphic EQ Catalog Setting
*Total Bitch Who Turns Out To Be An Inlaw
*WTF Is A Boing Box?
*Locking Bridge
*Broken Steve Vai Guitar
*Christmas Party Gig
*Shaman Princess
*Guitar Case Sale
*Mouthing off to the club owner
*1 Song & Done
*Chick’s Visa Card
*Phony tubes? – DONE
*Uhh, where did the bass player go?
*Rickenbacker 12 string issue
*The Turf Club is the coolest place
*White to rap conversion
*Are you telling me I torched a $15,000 kit?
*Bag the female singer
*Shocking gig in Sun Valley
*Shocking bathroom incident
*There goes the moose head!
*Speaking of moose: Singer hits moose
*Hole in the stage
*Dumbass Metal Guitar Player
*Opening for The Romantics (power problems)
*Someone had sex on our stage and we didn’t know it?
*Here’s a drum stick in your eye
*Fell off the drum riser
*Surprise beer glass modification
*Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
*Opening for The Fixx
*Opening for Flock Of Seaguls
*Opening for Jerry Lee Lewis
*The freak duplicator?
*The best female singer I recorded is a….zone girl?
*The 2nd best female singer I recorded is a…..stripper?
*The band that wouldn’t get off the stage…voluntarily. (Don’t mess with the golden glove boxer part 2)
*The tour (the radio show with 3 video cameras which don’t broadcast anything?)
*Point that video camera straigt into a spotlight, great dumbass
*Band accomodations & crack house all in one
*Dude steals chair and nearly causes a natural gas explosion
*Wedding gigs: Is anyone really paying attention?
*Late for a crappy gig
*Don’t piss off the golden glove boxer
*To the asshole who stole my hardware case
*X
*When naked ladies are running around, why do they blame me?
*Studio poltergiest that scares the hell out of me…really. The scariest, creepiest studio story ever.
*Two gigs in three hours, 350 miles apart?
*Bam bam
*$5 bounced check (from a client)
*I swear I didn’t know it was a gay bar. – DONE
*”Tonto” The drunk indian – DONE
*Your bass player is too hard to watch – DONE
*High heels, used as a weapon – DONE
*Best sub gig ever (strippers!) – DONE
*Don’t keep your studio masters with your dope – DONE
*A pathetic coke whore – DONE
*Stolen sub – DONE
*Stolen PA – DONE
*Falling asleep in the mix – DONE
*Board mix breaks up band – DONE
Now that I’m on the topic of sub gigs I have to tell this story.
I got a call one afternoon from a guy who was the head of the most popular blues band in town. His drummer broke his hand or something so they needed me to sub for him that night. I was available so he gave me the address and told me when to be there.
I got there in just in time to setup and start playing. I saw the guitar player’s car out behind the venue so I just loaded in the back with him. I didn’t get a chance to even see what the main venue looked like as we were playing in a room in the back of the building.
We started the gig and I was a bit nervous because I hadn’t played a gig with this band before. They were good at giving me directions so I managed ok.
In the middle of the first song something strange happened. Two women jumped up on the stage in front of my kit and started dancing. This has happened to me before thousands of times, but this time was different. This time they took their clothes off….all of them. As it turned out, I was subbing for a blues band in a strip club! There were a few visual cues that I missed because I was watching the women instead of the band leader but I didn’t care much.
There is nothing more fun than playing music, watching women take their clothes off and getting paid for it!
They say bad things happen in 3’s (whoever they are). So I’m up to two right now.
1. Earlier tonight I leaned back in my very nice leather studio chair, the the damn thing broke and I almost broke my neck.
2. Had a gig tonight at a small club. Nothing thrilling there to report. But on the way home it was very windy. I heard a thud and then felt my back tire run over something. I’m not about to stop in the dark on the freeway at 2:00am in a blizzard. When I got home I found that my damn front left turn signal light completely flew out.
3. ?