Categories
Musicians Random

Golf equipment in lieu of payment

When you deal with musicians you just never know what to expect. Getting paid for your work is an adventure with every client. You have to perform acts of sheer magic sometimes to get what they owe you.

I had a client years ago, very many years ago…. –in fact many years longer than the local statute of limitations :-)– who owed me money. His family owned a sporting goods store in some other state that went belly up. That’s the story I got at least.

The guy had no dough for me, but had some golf gear. So rather than getting the complete shaft I accepted a bunch of golf stuff instead of cash.

You gotta to what you gotta do.

Categories
Random

My Utes go to the sweet 16!


Under the non music related category I’d like to congratulate MY University of Utah Utes for making it to the sweet 16. Unfortunately we are meeting Kentucky next. Kentucky is the team we were leading by 15 in the national championship game in 1998, only to lose the game. Kentucky has knocked us out two other times since then.

I hate Kentucky. I hope my Utes can be victorious this time. Go UTES!

Categories
Gigs Random Rants

Why would you?

When I play gigs I spend a lot of time bashing the skins and just observing the strange people in the audience. There are a few things I just don’t get.

Why would you cover your body with tatoos? Do you think this is attractive? It makes you look dirty.

Why would you pierce your ears and make the hole the size of a coke can? Do you think this is cool or attractive? It isn’t.

Why would you stick a metal spike through your nose, your eybrow, your neck etc? Do you think you are original? We’ll you’re not. You look like the thousands of other losers that are doing the same thing.

Why would you (female) wear a belly shirt when you are a fat ass? Do you think other people in the club want to see your fat belly hanging out of your belly shirt? We don’t want to see it. Do us a favor and wear some baggy clothes that cover up your gross body.

Why would you (male) wear those stupid looking rapper pants that are gigantic and have them falling down to your knees so your boxers are showing? You look like a stupid loser. Let me loan you a belt you bonehead. Who would want to hire you for a decent job? Who would want to marry you and spend a lifetime with your ugly ass? Besides that, you’re white.

Why would you wear your baseball hat sideways? Because you are too stupid to realize it fits a certain way. You think you are cool? You are a moron. Like George Carlin says “How can you trust a person who is too fucking stupid to put a baseball hat on straight?”

Why do you talk like a rapper when you are a freaking wonder bread white guy from some middle class white neighborhood in Utah? You’re not from the ghetto.

Why would you think it is cool to act like you are from Compton? All the poeple who live there wish they could get out.

Why would you flash gang signs with two or three fingers? You’re not in a gang. I know why you do it…you’re flahing your IQ.

Categories
Random

We’re ahead of the curve

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Internet media company Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO – news) is likely to build and buy tools that help its users create, publish and search blogs, Susquehanna Financial Group Marianne Wolk said in a note on Friday.

Full Article

Categories
Random

Coming Soon… Version 2.6.1.2.2.5.9.2

Version 2.6.1 of my to-do blog list:

*The Used gets beaten off the stage
*Coke Addict Door Man
*Oh the poor kitty
*RTFM…The Right FM
*And they charge $150 an hour? -DONE
*The Ladies Toilet -DONE
*Golf equipment in lieu of payment
*How to get a record deal -DONE
*My buddy’s Stolen Keyboard
*Graphic EQ Catalog Setting -DONE
*Total Bitch Who Turns Out To Be An Inlaw
*WTF Is A Boing Box?
*Locking Bridge
*Broken Steve Vai Guitar
*Christmas Party Gig
*Shaman Princess
*Guitar Case Sale
*Mouthing off to the club owner
*1 Song & Done
*Some chick’s visa card -DONE
*Uhh, where did the bass player go?
*Rickenbacker 12 string issue
*The Turf Club is the coolest place
*White to rap conversion
*Are you telling me I torched a $15,000 kit?
*Bag the female singer
*Shocking gig in Sun Valley
*Shocking bathroom incident
*There goes the moose head!
*Speaking of moose: Singer hits moose
*Hole in the stage
*Dumbass Metal Guitar Player
*Opening for The Romantics (power problems)
*Someone had sex on our stage and we didn’t know it?
*Here’s a drum stick in your eye
*Fell off the drum riser
*Surprise beer glass modification
*Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
*Opening for The Fixx
*Opening for Flock Of Seaguls
*Opening for Jerry Lee Lewis
*The freak duplicator?
*The best female singer I recorded is a….zone girl?
*The 2nd best female singer I recorded is a…..stripper?
*The band that wouldn’t get off the stage…voluntarily. (Don’t mess with the golden glove boxer part 2)
*The tour (the radio show with 3 video cameras which don’t broadcast anything?)
*Point that video camera straigt into a spotlight, great dumbass
*Band accomodations & crack house all in one
*Dude steals chair and nearly causes a natural gas explosion
*Wedding gigs: Is anyone really paying attention?
*Late for a crappy gig
*Don’t piss off the golden glove boxer
*To the asshole who stole my hardware case
*X
*When naked ladies are running around, why do they blame me?
*Studio poltergiest that scares the hell out of me…really. The scariest, creepiest studio story ever.
*Two gigs in three hours, 350 miles apart?
*Bam bam
*$5 bounced check (from a client)